Photo Prints

How NOT to take Panoramic Photos

Somewhere at Truprint, we suspect there’s a secret room. Like any good top-secret room, it will be a room that looks like any other. It’s probably nondescript, impersonal, entirely in keeping with the rooms to the left and right and in front.

Inside, it could just be any other room with a desk, chair, window and filing cabinet. To the untrained eye, it will look exactly that. But, to the trained eye, it will appear to have been designed to BE exactly that. Take a closer look, though, and it will reveal something else entirely.

The carpet in front of the door will be far less worn than the others. There may be a small, unobtrusive keypad to input a digital passcode. Above the door, a miniature camera will definitely be recording everything.

A trained eye will know to look into that camera. If that trained eye has the correct security clearance, a gentle green light will then blink briefly. On grabbing the door handle, final checks will be carried out by fingerprint and biosensors built into the handle. If all checks are passed, a faint click will be heard and then, and only then, will you gain entry.

The View

Inside the room will be functional. Just in case. But again, to the trained eye, there will be obvious signs that it is not your usual Truprint office space.

For one, the desk will be tidy; a dead giveaway. Also, the air will be stale and still. There may even be a faint trace of dust on the desktop. The blinds will be pulled. And there will be no dead flies on the window sill. Why?

Because flies do not have the correct security clearance.

All in all, the room will just feel unused.

But then, looking around, it won’t take a trained eye to notice the one unusual object in the room. Along the length of the longest wall, there will sit a cabinet. Nothing unusual there you might think. Until you realise the cabinet drawers run the whole width of the cabinet itself; unbroken.

In our minds, the drawers will look like those designed to hold fragile tapestry, large painted masterpieces or delicate lengths of ancient parchment. And each drawer will look like it would take two people or a person with extraordinarily long arms to open.

On the cabinet, there will be a small, brass plaque. Etched on that plaque will be some simple words. But not just any of your bog-standard office words.

These words will hint at the treasures, of the secrets that lie within. These words will make sense of the elaborate security procedures devised to guard them. And these words will, most importantly, warn the unwary of the potential consequences should they ever open a drawer and accidentally examine its contents.

These words will simply say…

How NOT to take Panoramic Photos

Woohoo, what are we waiting for?

Let’s open some drawers.

knoxy-reddit
Photo Credit: knoxy/Reddit

Ever since the dawn of mankind, rumours have reached us of strange people, animals and mythical beings living secretly amongst us. And, ever since the dawn of photography, we’ve been trying to capture them on film.

From aliens to Bigfoot to the Loch Ness monster. From tiny jumping 2-legged dogs to people with 3 heads and 6 foot long arms, the mysteries of nature have steadfastly refused to reveal themselves. Until now. And it may all be the fault of Panoramic Photography.

Basically, a Panoramic photo is separate shots of the same scene stitched together to make one long image. Due to their nature, certain subjects are ideally suited to Panoramic photography. Landscapes especially cry out for them. Why?

Because the scenes you notice the most are the ones that are more than the eye can take in in one go. You literally have to move your head to take in a new image. And that is what the panoramic function on your camera mimics.

Also, panoramic landscapes delight in colour and detail. Camera sensors are advanced enough now to produce spectacularly detailed and colourfully vibrant pictures that almost match the ability of the human eye. Most important of all, though, landscapes rarely move.

So, provided your camera lens is clean and provided you can keep your camera steady and level, you’re almost guaranteed a clear, colourful, detailed image. Sounds easy, doesn’t it?

These people thought that too.

Photo Credit: budds.life
Photo Credit: IRRELEJUANTE
Photo Credit: Panorama Fail

Stranger Things

Unless you’re being creative, experimenting, practising or just doing it for the lols, panoramic photographs do NOT like movement.

When you introduce movement, strange things happen.

It’s then that the mythical creatures that live amongst us reveal themselves in all their glory.

Ever dreamt of walking an enormously long dog?

Photo Credit: natmiller

We suspect it’s not much fun when you’re halfway down the road and the dog’s back legs are still in the house.

Ever wanted to ride a tiny 2-legged horse?

Ever wondered whether the disembodied Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland was real after all? There are panoramic pictures out there that prove it could exist.

And people too. The Bigfoot. The cyclops. The 2-headed monster. The long-limbed land dwellers. The people with ears where their noses should be. And then there are the torso people. Frightening collections of the misplaced.

That is why there is a warning on the cabinet. That is why the room is locked and secured. That is why the room is unused. Imagine working in a place like that. Imagine glancing over your shoulder in case the 3- headed lady is watching. Imagine hearing the shuffling feet of the 25 legged Doggypede as it walks around and around in the drawer behind you. Try to imagine a torso sitting on the office window sill. Just a torso.

So much more than what you saw

Great panoramic photos make fantastic panoramic prints provided you follow some basic rules. Ignore those rules at your peril. Or, ignore the rules and enjoy a really good laugh. Either way, it’s up to you. Photography is allowed to be fun too.

Really, can you think of anything better than to immortalise a beloved pet along the whole length of a corridor while saying wistfully to someone

“As you can see, they were so much more than your normal dog.”?